Death by Carnitas

This recipe GRACIOUSLY stolen from David Lebovitz.

The Goods
7-8 pounds boneless pork shoulder, cut into 5-inch chunks, trimmed of excess fat
3 Tbsp. neutral vegetable oil
2 cinnamon sticks
2 1/2 tsp SCD chile powder
3 bay leaves
1/2 tsp. ground cumin
5 cloves of garlic, peeled and thinly-sliced

The Gettin’
1. Rub the pieces of pork shoulder all over with salt. Refrigerate for up to 3 days.
2. Heat the oil in a roasting pan set on the stovetop. Cook the pieces of pork shoulder in a single layer until very well-browned, turning them as little as possible so they get nice and dark before flipping them around. (If your cooking vessel is too small to cook them in a single-layer, cook them in two or more batches.)
3. Once all the pork is browned, remove them from the pot and blot away any excess fat with a paper towel, then pour in about a cup of water, scraping the bottom of the pan with a flat-edged utensil to release all the tasty brown bits.
4. Heat the oven to 350 degrees.
5. Add the pork back to the pan and add enough water so the pork pieces are 2/3 submerged in liquid. Add the cinnamon stick and stir in the chile powders, bay leaves, cumin and garlic.
6. Braise in the oven uncovered for 3½ hours, turning the pork a few times during cooking, until much of the liquid is evaporated and the pork is falling apart. Remove the pan from the oven and lift the pork pieces out of the liquid and set them on a platter.
7. Once the pork pieces are cool enough to handle, shred them into bite-sized pieces, about 2-inches (7 cm), discarding any obvious big chunks of fat if you wish.
8. Return the pork pieces back to the roasting pan and cook in the oven, turning occasionally, until the liquid has evaporated and the pork is crispy and caramelized. It will depend on how much liquid the pork gave off, and how crackly you want them.
9. Immediately upon tasting, you may die. Please take precautions for such a response.

The Take
So even when you accidentally smoke up the house, spill grease on the floor, and suffer through mind-blowing smells you wish you could tweet (it is a bad thing in the torture sense) it is all worth it. 

Total Time:  5 hours 30 minutes
Prep –  1 hour
Cook–  4 hours 30 minutes

Yield: 10 servings

Level: Intermediate


Dill-ightful Veggies

This recipe graciously conjured by Lauren’s Madre.

The Goods
1 (16 ounce) package frozen broccoli, cauliflower, & carrots
2 Tbsp. butter
1 Tbsp. chopped fresh dill
salt and pepper to taste

The Gettin’
1. Add water and frozen vegetables into a pot and bring to boil.  Let boil 5-8 minutes.
2. While, vegetables are boiling, chop the dill, and set aside.
3. Drain water from vegetables.
4. Add butter, dill, salt, and pepper to vegetables over heat and stir until butter melts and covers the veggies.

The Take
So quick, so easy, so good… so why aren’t you making them yet?

Total Time: 7-10  minutes
Prep –  2 minutes
Cook–  5-8 minutes

Yield: 4 servings

Level: Easy

¡Es Guacamole!

This recipe graciously stolen from

The Goods

3 avocados – peeled, pitted, and mashed
1 lime, juiced
1 tsp. salt
1/2 cup shallots
3 Tbs. chopped fresh cilantro
1 medium tomato, diced
1 tsp. minced garlic
1 pinch ground cayenne pepper

The Gettin’
1. In a medium bowl, mash together the avocados, lime juice, and salt.
2. Chop onion, cilantro, tomato, and garlic.
4. Mix in onion, cilantro, tomato, and garlic.
5. Stir in cayenne pepper.
6. Serve immediately.  Guacamole will brown quickly!

The Take

Éste es guacamole perfecto. Usted tiene que intentarlo con tocino curruscante o con pollo. ¡Yum!

Total Time: 10 minutes
Prep –  10 minutes

Yield: 6 servings

Level: Easy

Bakin’ Bacon

This recipe inspired by many sources.

The Goods
1 package SCD bacon (no sugar added.)

The Gettin’
1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
2. Line baking sheet with foil.
3. Place nonstick cooling rack on top of the foil lined baking sheet.
4. Line slices of bacon without overlapping on cooling rack.
5. Cook in oven for 20 minutes or until desired crispness is reached.

The Take
Do you love bacon?  Are you tired of the troublesome grease pops and painful burns when cooking bacon?  Wouldn’t you rather be watching TV than standing over the sweltering hot stove for your bacon?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, this dish is for you!  Bakin’ Bacon!  It is so easy to do, even ______ can enjoy bacon with ease!  If you’re interested in leading a happier and more successful life, try Bakin’ Bacon!  Enjoy Bakin’ Bacon for only 1 easy payment of $2.95 at your local grocery store (shipping and handling not included).

We love bakin’ our bacon.

Total Time: 30 minutes
Prep –  10 minutes
Cook–  20 minutes

Yield: 4 servings

Level: Easy

How Lauren Got Cocky, or Scrambled Eggs

This recipe created masterfully by Lauren.


The Goods
12 eggs
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup chopped portabella mushrooms
2 bundles of scallions

**For best results cook in grease from either SCD sausage or SCD bacon, otherwise oil or butter may be used.**

The Gettin’

1. As mentioned before, for out-of-this-world-wet-your-pants-what-the-am-I-really-not-in-heaven-can-this-I-can’t-believe-how-oh-my-word-*CENSORED* results, begin by keeping grease from previously cooked SCD sausage in skillet.  SCD bacon will create a lessor, but-seriously-can-you-go-wrong-with-bacon, effect.  Oil or melted butter will be fab and delish, if you begin with them in the skillet instead.
2. In mixing bowl, crack eggs and add salt and pepper to taste.
3. Beat egg mixture until well blended. Set aside.
4. Cut off the long green leaves and any roots from scallions.
5. Chop remaining white base of scallions along with portabella mushrooms into chunks.
6. Pour egg mixture, onions, and scallions into skillet on medium heat.
7. Continue cooking – pulling, lifting, and folding together- until egg becomes thickened and no visible liquid remains.  No need to stir constantly.
8. Take off heat and immediately, you just got served.

The Take
Her head was in Texas- that’s right- it was bigger.  The table talk was flattery toward the wizardry of the eggs… who compliments eggs?  The better question is… who wouldn’t compliment these!

Total Time: 15-18 minutes
Prep –  10 minutes
Cook–  5-8 minutes

Yield: 7 servings

Level: Easy

Bacon Bundles… Ain’t Nothin’ Wrong With That

This recipe stolen graciously from Rachael Ray.

The Goods
1 1/2 lbs. asparagus spears, trimmed 4 to 5 inches long tips
extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling
few grinds black pepper
4 slices center cut bacon
Chopped chives or scallions, optional garnish

The Gettin’
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Lightly coat asparagus spears in extra-virgin olive oil.
3. Season the asparagus with black pepper.
4. Divide the asparagus spears into a total number of four groups.
5. Take a group of spears and use a slice of bacon to wrap the bundle and secure the spears together. Repeat until finished with each group.
6. Place bundles on baking pan into oven for 12 minutes.

The Take
We decided to have some friends over for a great meal and knew we would have all the burners in use, our plate was full so to speak.  Instead of pan cooked asparagus, we went with the oven.  The group seemed pleased with the result overall.  In general I prefer it cooked with butter over oil, but it was nice to pop it in and out with ease!

Total Time:  20 minutes
Prep –  8 minutes
Cook–  12 minutes

Yield: 4 servings

Level: Easy